BookLeesLLC, Author Sadie Dabney

Emotional Mama Creating Books

I am happy you are here. Welcome to my awkward, public headspace. I am a Mama to two beautiful babies whose life is not what I pictured it being. I have no idea what I am doing besides loving my babies as fiercely as possible and trying to accomplish my dreams for them and for me.

Anything but Not Everything

Sadie Dabney

Hi. I am a hot mess Mama who doesn’t have it all together, but sure am trying. My story is just one, but it is mine.

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In the middle of my travels this weekend, I found myself drifting off to think about my children. No surprise there. As a Mom, they are on my mind 110% of the time. I was unloading the truck, moving mattresses, and getting my family set up for a weekend at the cabin and I was doing it by myself. My husband walked in once I was done (no fault of his on the timing) and started asking all the questions where I verbally expressed all items on the checklist were done, done, done. I was raised to just do it. Be helpful. Contribute to the room. As someone who is a giver by nature, being raised that way has shaped me into a very independent human. I would rather do something than ask for help. Now, that does not mean I won’t get annoyed with the individual sitting on the couch while I am doing things. Often an argument in my marriage haha.. my mindset is if something needs done, just do it, and I get so frustrated with people who do not operate on that level. Yet I love being a strong, independent woman who people know they can count on. It is often very conflicting within my brain. Back to how this got me thinking about my children. I want to raise them to be the same way. Go getters. Helpers. Givers. I also want to raise them to recognize when they cannot do something. I want them to ask for help. Seek clarification. Ask the questions. Find their corner of people who they know they can rely on when they cannot carry the weight of something alone. This life is too hard for anyone to think they should have to do it all alone. I want them to recognize in themselves and in others when to step up and when to step down. My parents would do ANYTHING for me yet they did not do everything. Sounds conflicting, right? It is. Yet, I get it. I would do anything for my kids. If they needed help, I would try my best to help them even if it meant sacrificing my own life. And at the same time, I will not do everything for them. The best thing I can do for them is to teach them to be independent. I can try to guide them to courage yet enough fear to be cautious. Kind but self-aware enough to say no and set boundaries. Curious yet humble enough to know when to ask for help. Independent, but confident enough in our relationship to know they can always come home. My goal is to support them through anything, but not to hand them everything.

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