Being the first person in a group of siblings to have children, you often hear “oh the first grandkid!” Having the first grandchild is a big deal. There is something so special about watching your parents be grandparents. But what isn’t talked about as much, or maybe it is, and I just lived in a world of ignorance is the role that Aunts and Uncles play. I have fantastic Aunts and Uncles but I never knew the depth of what that meant until I got to see my siblings transition into those roles. In fact, one of my favorite parts of being a mother is watching how intensely my people love my little humans. Seeing the joy that my people bring to my children is the absolute best. Just recently though I have realized that I fear I cannot and will not be the aunt to their littles as they have been to mine. I LOVE my nieces and nephews beyond fiercely, but the selflessness that my siblings gave to me to help me transition into the mother role and to love on my littles cannot be returned on that same level. In order for me to give my time and help like they gave me, I still have to have people in my corner helping me. I can help them when I have people willing to help me, but even then my time with them comes with the guilt of not being with my own children… so yet again, I am there and invested, but it will never be all of me like they were able to give my kiddos for a few years. Even though during this initial chapter of my siblings becoming parents, I cannot be there for them in all the ways they were me, I do hope I can return the love and support in additional ways throughout our lives. Relationships are not always 50/50. My siblings have given me and my children more than we’ve given the last few years and if or when I can, I hope to give back more than we take. To the sweet peanuts I adventured with last weekend, to the sweet peanut I made laugh yesterday, and to the sweet peanut I rocked all night long last night, I will always cherish our moments and I will always be in your corner. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Hi. I am a hot mess Mama who doesn’t have it all together, but sure am trying. My story is just one, but it is mine.