This past weekend I stepped away from my kids for a night to listen to some live music. I thoroughly enjoyed my time yet could not wait to squeeze their little faces. People are not joking when they say Mom guilt is real. Yet my cup needs to be filled in ways besides through my children or I cannot be the best me for them. Expecting my children to be the sole people responsible for filling my cup is a huge and unfair burden on little humans who do not need that. Finding the balance between feeling like me and being the Mom I want to be to my children is so hard. The reason I am here and am typing all these random thoughts to the internet and whomever may stumble upon this page is because I decided 2023 would be the year about me. The year I stop being afraid of putting myself out there. The year I stop being afraid of change. Deciding to self-publish children’s books has become so much more of a journey than I could have thought. I didn’t pursue publishing for financial gain. But once I started hearing the feedback from people connecting with my words, I did not want to stop. I do not want to stop. Marketing “myself” in this world today is not me. I am awkward. I am not an open book. I don’t even have time most days to shower. Yet, I have found myself continually trying various social media platforms. I have tried multiple ways of reaching individuals who I hope will just give my books a chance. It is like that quote, “I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 different ways that have not worked.” I keep thinking that if nobody has enjoyed my books yet that I have failed. But then I pause and think… okay, April 2023 was not that long ago. These books are out there now. We still have time for them to be the “break” in life that I need. Want. Crave. If you find my Instagram, I have started using the #influencer.. even though I am not trying to be an influencer. Do not get me wrong… I love popping onto Instagram to see my favorite influencers. So if I am not trying to be an influencer and I do not want to market myself… I find myself in moments of, “What am I doing?” and then I find myself in moments of “You can do this.” How does this tie into the beginning of this blog—Me? or Mom? Because I am pushing myself so I can be the Mom I want to be. I want to make my kids proud. I want to continue to show them I chased my dreams. I pursued a passion that gave me a “high” like no other… publishing books. Connecting with people through MY random thoughts and feelings. As somebody, who has grown up being called sensitive and too emotional, I have finally figured out that there is no better way to fill my cup than to connect with people through my words. By hearing how you relate or felt while reading my books, my cup gets filled. I am not alone. Putting myself out there, and in some aspects feeling like a little bit of a creep with a whole lot of desperation, I am hoping I can look back one day and say, “I did it, kids and you can too. I am always in your corner. Life takes failing. The victory is that you do not give up on something that you are passionate about. Something that helps you feel like you. Whatever version of you that you want to be.”