Unexpected. One word that could describe so many different events. It could be describing good or bad. For me? I’ve had a lot of unexpected lately. Both the good and the bad kinds.
Whenever someone gets married, they don’t plan to get divorced. In fact, the goal would be exactly the opposite. To the outside world, many are surprised to find out that I am now in fact divorced. I have social media and I have it to share my children with distant family and to promote my children’s books. I don’t have it to air out my dirty laundry. I suppose the lack of sharing my personal life has led spectators to believe my life was picture perfect. What does unexpected have to do with the honesty part of my blog title? Because I am an honest person. Whether the truth makes someone uncomfortable, upset, or whatever their reaction maybe… I am not one to lie or keep secrets. Not promoting my inner most personal life on socials does not mean I’ve been lying—anyone in my closest circle knows and has known the struggles of my life. They’ve known the conflicting, exhausting internal battle I’ve faced for awhile now.
My divorce and where I am at in life now has come unexpected to some. Here is the simple, honest summary of my last few months of life.
I made the very hard decision to walk away from the life I’ve known for a long time. My home. People I’ll always consider family. It was not an easy choice but one I knew I needed to make. I had to find a new place to live and begin the transition for my two sweet babies into a new routine and new home. Within all of that, I closed myself off to the future I wanted.
As a Mom, and now single Mom, I put some serious mental restrictions on my life. I would not move on quickly. I would not get married again. I would not have more children. I was going to settle into my life as a single mom. Any single moms reading this? I am here to listen if you need a friend. Dating seems horrific. The idea of spending the little time I do not have my kids trying to find someone sounds exhausting. Not only do I have to find someone to love me, but my two children. Trial and error dating does not seem appealing so I told myself I was content being just Mom, school counselor, sister, daughter, aunt, and friend. As horrific as giving love another chance sounds, single Moms do deserve to be loved. So don’t close off that part of your life just yet. Because the unexpected can happen and it can be apart of your journey, too.
For me, I had just settled into my new little rental with my babies, when an old friend and I reconnected. What began as a simple exchange of texts catching up on life has quickly developed into the kind of relationship I am not sure I could ever say bye to. He has become the good, unexpected part of my story that I did not know I needed. Where will the next chapter take me? I guess only time will tell, but what I can tell you now is all of the mental stipulations I have been telling myself are all going away. This unexpected friendship has me opening my mind and heart to things I thought I had lost.
Stay tuned. I know I am. 🖤
